Celebration of Me, Me!
My YouTube & TikTok series, F00L’S G0LD, covers the backstory of the events detailed here.
I’ve been wanting to see Mariah Carey in concert since I was a little boy. After almost two decades, it finally happened, and boy am I so grateful it happened when it did.
Originally this was planned as my belated birthday trip with my boyfriend of two years- I got the hotel and we booked our flights together.
A couple weeks later, when he dumped me over FaceTime, casually sitting in the hot tub, I figured he would surely cancel or at least change his flights.
Boy was I wrong.
Yeah, the only man I've ever loved, the only one I've introduced my mother to, the only man I’ve discussed rings, proposals, and children with, but anyways I digress.
You see this trip also became a way to celebrate the life of a friend who had passed away unexpectedly earlier this year- her birthday was the day I flew into Vegas for The Celebration of Mimi.
As you can imagine this would be no normal vacation to Vegas.
And the wait was worth it because the timing was perfect.
I could afford a nice resort on the Strip and some solid mid-tier concert seats- not the first row, but definitely not the nosebleed level either.
And because I was traveling with only Me, Myself, and I, it meant I didn't have to sit in a bunch of nasty bars and casinos watching people drink just to end up arguing about asinine things like holding hands in public for more than five minutes.
Instead, I was free to lounge and strut between the three swimming pools at the resort, working on my tan and showing off all the hard work I've put in over the last six weeks.
Mariah talked about how The Celebration of Mimi was the her childhood dream come true. She spoke about the strength she found in her fans, the significance of the butterfly, grief, love.
Her dancers and backup singers were almost exclusively people of color.
It was so, so, so, so, perfect.
And worth waiting damn near twenty years for.
Mid-concert I had a vision of the future; A Vision of Love!
It was very, very, very amazing and beautiful.
****
I am not a Vegas person. I don’t drink, I don’t gamble. But I guarantee you I was the loudest one at the concert- hips swinging, booty shaking, arms raised- eighteen years to make up for folks!
I AM THE GOOD TIME!
This was a healing experience. It healed the little boy deep inside of me. It was a reminder from my Leo friend from the spirit world, that I’m fabulous, that I’m worthy, that I matter, and I live a wonderful life.
Mariah must’ve sent me back to San Francisco with a rainbow because there was no rain!
And I promise you I would much rather be the overly sensitive, overly analytical, overly spiritual person that I am now, than the person who almost hung himself in that closet he kept himself in for twenty-four fucking years.
The one they used to call a FAGGOT.
Gaybraham.
The one whose sixth grade teacher laughed at because he was a sensitive kid, which made it acceptable for the entire class to join in that laughter.
Yes, that guy.
ME.
So in the spirit of Mimi, This is for my peoples… who lack emotional maturity and those who've been hurt by them.
Sometimes going back to those dark moments of your childhood hurts but I promise you STAYING THERE hurts so much more.
Don't let anyone clip your wings and sure as hell don't give up on those dreams- because I'm telling you, they aren't big enough.
And most importantly:
Free Yourself.
My queerness is one of my six identities I talk about in my first book, A Real San Francisco Story. With Pets. Look out for my LGBTQ+ picture book, Emilio’s First Pride, coming out later this year.